Regarding Pirate Names...

On the way to school/work today...

TH: Dadda, were there pirates in the Great Lakes?
Me: Not sure, bud. We can look it up later, though. I think most of them spent time in the Caribbean, like Blackbeard. Remember we went to that pirate museum in St. Augustine?
TH: Oh, that's right. I remember.
*6 seconds of silence*
TH: Dadda, if you were a pirate, you'd be 'Whitebeard'.
Me: ...
TH: Hahahahahahaha!

Regarding Jaguars...

After spending the ENTIRE day at the zoo on Sunday, the Tiny Human and I were driving home and I asked him what was his favorite thing he saw. 

TH: I don't know, Dadda. What was yours?
Me: Mine was the jaguar, I think. 
TH: oh, me, too! I loved seeing the jaguar!
Me: Do you remember where they are from?
TH: Great Britain. 
Me: ?? Ummm, are you sure about that?
TH: Yeah, they are made in Great Britain!
Me: Made? Wait, are you talking about the old J-type Jaguar we saw near the airport on the way home?
TH: Yeah, what are you taking about?
Me: *sigh*

Those Aren't Pockets...

Me: No, remember we talked about this before, buddy. That's not a pocket in your underwear. 
F: What's it for then?
Me: [quietly explains the purpose of the opening in underwear]
F: So... It's a peepee pocket. 
Me: No, that's not-
F: I have a peepee pocket! Peepee pocket! Peepee pocket!
Me: *sigh*
F: [runs out of the room] peepee pocket! Peepee pocket!
Me: Just... *sigh*