The Putting Things In Places Phase Begins...

Though I've never actually done it, I have to imagine pulling a subwoofer out of an Audi A4 is a fairly straight-forward task.  Open the trunk.  Disconnect some wires.  Remove some hex bolts or lag screws.  Pull out the subwoofer.  Done.

I would bet it is easier than pulling a 1:24 model Audi A4 with a surfboard roof rack out of a stereo subwoofer.  This, I can proudly say, I have now done.

Challenge:  Remove a 1:24 model Audi A4 (with surfboard roof rack) out of a Sony stereo subwoofer.

Method #1: Try sticking hand in to get it.
Nope, can't even get my hand into the sound hole past my thumb. The wife laughs from the sofa, but congratulates me on trying the obvious first.

Method #2: Try having the youngling stick his hand in to get it.
That also-obvious attempt didn't work, either. You end up with a monkey trap, where he grabs the car around the roof and tries to pull it out, only to fail because the car can't pass through the hole sideways.  This results in a frustrated two year old and an even more frustrated father, comically trying to tell his two year old son how to grab the car by the front to pull it out.  The wife laughs on from the sofa.

Alright, off to the kitchen for some tools. Dadda returns and attempts...

Method #3: Salad tongs
Ultimately, no, though this tool was involved in about half of the 170-some-odd attempts at car removal.  In the end, it was too bulky to try and manipulate the car through the subwoofer hole.  I could grab the car with the tongs, but not position it properly for removal. And the car was juuuust a bit smaller than the sound hole, so it had to be positioned properly for removal.

Method #4: Cooking Chopsticks
Again, ultimately, no. I can pick up anything from a grain of rice to a dumpling with a pair of chopsticks.  Apparently, an Audi A4 still eludes me.  At some point, I was alternating between using the chopsticks to position the car and the salad tongs to try and grab it. Repeat, ad nauseum, because it just wasn't working.

Almost lost an eye at around the 25 minute mark, when I was alternating between chopsticks and salad tongs, because the youngling picked up the chopsticks-now-miniature-light-sabers and began jabbing them around the subwoofer opening (where my head happened to be). Bit inside of cheek trying to not yell at the youngling for helping his dadda.

Method #5: Gravity
After a half hour, I was starting to get desperate.  I tried balancing the subwoofer on a magazine rack, sound hole facing down, to see if I could use gravity as an aid to my chopsticks.  Almost dropped the subwoofer on my head and decided to quit trying that method before I broke the subwoofer... or my head.

Method #6: Mechanical
Flipped the subwoofer on its side and tried to pry the screen off for easier access to the inside of the subwoofer.  This made me very nervous and I didn't really try that hard for fear of breaking the screen.  Or the subwoofer.  Or the salad tongs I was using to pry the screen off the subwoofer.

Metho.... oh, crap.  Where's the car??  After flipping the subwoofer around to balance it on the magazine rack and then laying it on its side, it appeared the car had become wedged somewhere inside the subwoofer.  Bugger.  I ended up thinking it through and reversing the previous actions of flipping the subwoofer on its side and balancing it on the magazine rack.  Finally, I heard the satisfying plink of a 1:24 model Audi A4 with surfboard roof rack rolling around inside the subwoofer again.  *whew*

Method #7: Ramp
At some point, I ended up with the car on its wheels on the bottom of the inside of the subwoofer.  I entertained myself for a minute by pushing the car to the back of the subwoofer using a chopstick, then letting it go.  It's the kind of car you can pull back and it winds up and takes off when you let it go.  It would drive forward and biff into the front edge of the inside of the sound hole.  I laid there on the living room floor, wishing I had that cupboard with the indian in it so I could have him make me a ramp inside the subwoofer.  Then I wondered if the Rats of Nihm would be too upset about the four mice I'd recently converted to "dead" in the garage to offer me a helping tail.  I seriously did consider making a wooden tongue depressor ramp for about 30 seconds, but, ultimately, common sense won out.

Method #8: Pastry Knife
Ahh... old tool shopping comes to the rescue!  About three years ago, digging through a workbench of old tools at an estate sale, I came across several old paint scrapers (one with a rosewood handle and two with walnut handles). I snatched them up!  (How often have you seen a production-made paint scraper with rosewood handles?) I also spied a narrow (about 3/4"), long (7" or so?) pastry knife, also with walnut handles.  For $.50, I snatched it up, too.  The former tools went into the workshop while the latter tool went into the kitchen drawer, after a bit of scrubbing with some scotchbrite pads and cleaning solution and a nice coat of paste wax on the now-clean handle.

Anyway, as I was pushing the Audi to the back of the subwoofer with the chopstick, using the surfboard roof rack, I noted there was a thin space between the roof rack and the roof.  Hmmm... I might be able to wedge something between the two, if I had a long enough and thin enough piece of metal!

The first thing to come to my mind was that pastry knife, and I knew right where it was.

And, viola!  Not 30 seconds later, I had the blade of the pastry knife wedged under the roof rack and was slowly pulling the car out of the subwoofer.  WOOT!  Job well done, Dadda!  It's Milla' time!

A few hours later, my wife mentioned something about the downstairs toilet not flushing properly. In a panic, my eyes immediately looked to the coffee table to see if the 1:24 model Audi A4 with a surfboard roof rack was missing...